Grouse hunting has been my passion for the last forty two years. For me, autumn was created for hunting ruffed gourse. The hunter that loves the smells of autumn, the sight of reddening apples, the feel of crips air and the first hints of frost, will thoroughly ejoy this special thirty days. Being in the autumn woods, enjoying the company of a fine hunting dog, carrying my favorite firearm - a Browning A 5 Light 12 skeet choked and pursuing the ruffed grouse is an experience that I cheerish. I have hunted over three Brittany spaniels during this period of time. Duke was an orange and white bundle of energy - blessed with a good nose, hard working and a fearless hunting companion. Britt - was shy and ever cautious. He worked his crisscross patterns with great precision and very rarely over ran a bird. Thunder, my present Brittany, is liver and white and personality wise, he is a combination of Duke and Britt. I feel very fortunate to have hunted these dogs enjoying the fall tapestry of brillant colors. They have added unmeasured pleasure to my days afield in pursuit of the king of all game birds - THE RUFFED GROUSE! The grouse hunt I am writing about took place in late December and - well - it was not a typical hunt. Why not read on and see what I mean.
THE ANNIVERSARY GROUSE
By Anthony J. Conte
With the windshield wipers "Clapping Time" - as Kris Kristofferson so lyrically wrote in his classic "ME AND BOBBY McGEE" - I headed to Dr. Josh Werber's office for a 3:30 PM appointment. It was time to again have Josh counduct a ceruminolytic evaluation on both of my ears. After over forty years of upland and waterfowl hunting my hearing is - well, let's just say that high pitched sounds present a problem and the was that I manufactured just exacerbated this problem. The rain was mixing with sleet and snow and the forecast was for more of the same for the next twenty four hours - especially north of the city and in the Hudson Valley. Wonderful! - this was exactly where I would be heading as soon as Josh finished performing his ear magic.
It was 3:10 PM as I headed up the steps to his office, my collar pulled up and my head pulled into my body like an old turtle. "God - it's miserable", I thought as I entered the office door. "Hi - Anthony Conte, I have a 3:30 appointment with Dr. Werber." A smile - "Please have a seat." I nodded and did as I was told. "If I can be out of here and on the road by 4:30, maybe a quick hamburger stop - I could cover the 200 miles by 9:00 PM - not to shabby." It was late December and I was headed north via the Taconic Parkway (which ran tight through the Hudson Valley and the existing dreadful weather) to Shushan, New York. I had a 10:00 AM appointment with Nina (of Nina's Jewelry) the following morning in Manchester, Vermont. The pearls that i had ordered for my wife had finally arrived - two days before my wife, Helen, and I would be celebrating our forty eighth wedding anniversary. I had camouflaged the reason for a trip to our house on the Battenkill River in such awful weather with a lame excuse about a contract for our forest land stewardship program that had to be signed before the end of the year - a weak attempt I must admit - but apparently believable.
"Mr. Conte, Dr. Werber will see you know", echoed through the office and snapped my drifting mind back to reality. "Hi Tony - how's the hearing, is it wax removal time again?" "To answer both your questions Josh - lousy and yes, thank you." "Well, anytime you're ready", Josh added, "These new hearing aides are small, digital and very efficient." "Not, today", I countered. "Just remove the wax - I have 200 miles to drive." Josh understood. He shook his head and proceeded to expertly free me of the accumulated cerumen. I had found an excuse every time he approached my hearing problem. Four PM - not bad - I thought as I headed for my Jeep in the gathering darkness, only to be attacked by a cold mixture of freezing rain, sleet and snow. I arrived home, wolfed down a sandwich - (cancel the burger stop) - and packed the car. "Are you going to take Thunder?", Helen inquired. "Great idea - he doesn't say much he does enjoy my Andrea Bocelli CD's and you won't have to be bothered feeding him.
I'll also take my Browning along - you never know. Might get a chance at a grouse." "I thought you were going to sign a contract", Helen added, with a smile. "Don't forget we have a Christmas party invitation for tomorrow evening." I nodded in agreement. "I'll be back in plenty of time."
The weather man was right on the money - the freezing rain turned to snow in the Hudson Valley and back to sleet as I approached Shushan about 9PM> I awoke the following morning at about 7:00am to the sound of wind driven rain pelting my bedroom window. Misery outside, but Thunder needed a walk. LL. Bean rubber moccasins seemed adequate and rain gear was definitely the ticket along with my Browning - just in case. As we sloshed towards the river, I barked at Thunder - "Do your thing quickly buddy, this rain is COLD - and stay close." As we approached the river, Thunder plunged into the alders. "River is really high," I observed, "And these moccasins were a mistake - not nearly high enough" as water found it's way over the top and filtered through my socks.
Suddenly, a grouse exploded from the cover to my right and across the narrow path. I instinctively swung my Browning, pulled ahead of the streaking grouse and slapped the trigger. The bird disappeared, but left a stream of soft belly feathers that floated in the damp air, only to be immediately dispersed by the wind. "Fetch", I hollered instinctively, "Dead bird - fetch" Thunder plunged into a foot deep puddle of water that flooded the swampy area along the river bank and after a few minutes of thrashing around returned, looking like a drowned rat with a mouth full of grouse feathers and NO GROUSE, just a quizzical look and feathers. "Fetch', I commanded, "Dead bird, fetch." He worked the area beautifully, searching for the scent of the drowned grouse without success. "Damn - just what I need in this slop - a running cripple." We worked the area along the river for an hour - right to the open fields upstream and from the river up to the road without any sign of the grouse. I was soaked, water filled my moccasins and it was really getting nasty now - wind driven sleet was pelting me - and I had that Manchester appointment at 10:00am. "Let's head back Thunder. Got to shower and get some breakfast - boy you look skinny when you're soaked." The wind was really picking up as we reached the path that led to the house. I shook my head in disgust as I visually searched the area where the grouse had disappeared. A few soft grouse body feathers still skipped across the water.
Suddenly something caught my attention in the center of the puddle. A gray object swayed back and forth rhythmically like a metronome in the wind driven ripples. "Looks like a wing feather" I mused. "What the heck, I'm wet anyway - might as well check it out." There is nothing quite like the feeling of cold muddy ooze curling over your moccasins, as a mixture of rain, snow and sleet slide down your neck. I reached down and it WAS a wing feather and attached to it was MY GROUSE! My ANNIVERSAYR GROUSE! Thunder usually did a great job retrieving both crippled and dead birds, but this drowned grouse vanished underwater without leaving a scent trail. I cleaned the bird in the Battenkill, dumped a very dirty Brittany in the river (Thunder didn't appreciate this move one bit) and washed the slop from my cold feet and moccasins. After a quick shower, I was off to Nina in Manchester. Nina did not let me down - the pearls were beautiful. Two hours later, my Browning was cleaned, I was packed, Thunder was dry and fed and I was in my Jeep, heading south on the Taconic, with a string of pearls in my pocket and my ANNIVERSARY GROUSE in the cooler. A smile worked its way across my face as Andrea Bocelli's rich baritone voice filled the air with lyrics of his greatest hit. IT WAS - "TIME TO SAY GOODBYE"!
EPILOGUE
Helen LOVED the pearls and we celebrated our forty eighth wedding anniversary with a dinner of ruffed grouse, wild rice stuffing, new potatoes and a bottle of Chardonnay. It was indeed a HAPPY ANNIVERSARY - FOR BOTH OF US!
